"Don't quit your day job."

Monday, August 15, 2005

10 Things That Might Get You Kicked Out Of Wally-World



1. Impersonating a Greeter.


2. Throwing a huge fit at the Customer Service Desk because they won't give you a refund on the Pepperoni Hot Pocket you ate for lunch which gave you heartburn - even though you have the receipt.


3. Drag racing down the main isle with those little scooter carts.


4. Making a rubber tree in the condom isle.


5. "Test driving" a barbecue grill - even if you bring your own steaks.


6. Bringing in your cat to see which kind of litter he likes best.


7. Getting on the intercom system and announcing that there is a Blue Light Special on all Granny Panties.


8. Shooting arrows at all of the sale signs or lowering the price with a Sharpe while wearing a happy face mask.


9. Holding your family reunion in the Home and Garden Department.


10. Walking out the dressing room and asking the attendant if your ass looks fat in a thong.




The above is pure speculation, and is not based on personal experience - especially # 10 as I already know the answer to that question. The inspiration for the above came from watching two cops carry out a women kicking and screaming last night out of my local Wally-World. I guess I pondered a little too long as to why. Living in a small town, however, I'm sure it will be on the front page of the paper tomorrow.




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